Crap and Crapability

I had to leave the motorbike at home on Thursday since there is too much pollution in Milan. The government continues to use the same workaround as they always have the last years: limit who can drive depending on your car plate. Talk about racism! Thursday was the turn of the odd plates so I was stuck with public transport. There must be better ways of solving the pollution problem in a big city. What about: Reducing prices or give free tickets on public transport when the pollution passes the max limit? Always blocking cars/motorbikes that don't have catalytic engines? I don't give up easily, so I had a look at the official document Circolazione a targhe alterne ...

What else can you do, but improve, if you are already dead? Family members got a call Monday night that Green had been killed when he was hit by a car in the intersection of U.S. 401 and N.C. 39. Several hours later, a trooper with the state Highway Patrol came to tell them that Green wasn't dead - a medical examiner at the morgue had discovered Green breathing. The team of four people responsible for declaring Green dead are suspended with pay: Though state law outlines how people can be declared brain dead, no statute says who is authorized to declare a person dead, said Dr. John Butts, chief medical examiner for North Carolina. "As a practical matter, people ...

Meeting this thing on the road would scare the crap out of anybody: Then you realize it's friendly and not something from the set of The War Of the Worlds. Via [Neopoleon.com]

It started with a MSN Messenger security alert, but quickly degenerated to a competition in writing the most offensive post. I don't think I have seen the F-word used in a page so many times before.

More disturbing eBay items on Daily Disturbing Auctions! Priceless crap like BID FOR A DATE WITH THIS FINE YOUNG MAN and SHRUNKEN HEAD WITCH DOCTOR'S MUMMY ZOMBIE SKULL Via [Gibson Blog]

This one is just priceless: eBay offers Low Priced African Slaves. Big Selection!

Make Love Not War with the Gay Bomb The US military, planned to use stink bombs, chemicals that cause bad breath, and a so-called "gay-bomb" that would make enemy soldiers irresistible to one another as part of a range of non-lethal, but disruptive and morale-damaging weapons.

Heavy metal lyrics can be bad, but country lyrics are worse. The Country Western Song Generator allows you to make even the most creative country artist jealous: I met her in the Stone Age wrestlin' gators;I can still recall the neon sign she wore; She was drownin' in the quicksand with Miss Piggy, and I knew no guy would ever love her more;The judge declared I'd have my rash forever;She said to me that Rolaids made her high;But who'd have thought she'd boogie with her guru;But that's the way that pygmies say goodbye. Via [linkfilter.net]

I'm not sure what's worse for my health: the Hello Kitty Ferrari or Bill Gates showing what he's got: Via [The Red Ferret Journal]

Noooooooooo! I can understand a cute Fiat 500 with a Pink Panther theme, but whoever did this to a Ferrari should have a mental exam Via [Gizmodo]

Go to www.mappoint.msn.com and generate directions from Haugesund, Norway to Trondheim, Norway Start: Haugesund, Rogaland, Norway End: Trondheim, Sør-Trøndelag, Norway Total Distance: 1685.9 Miles Estimated Total Time: 47 hours, 31 minutes Via [/dev/null]

The list has not been updated for the earthquake and tsunami disaster yet, but I guess it will end up as one of the top 5 deadliest disasters in the history of mankind.

I never understood what violently sick meant until this weekend. I never asked to learn find out in the first place but after this weekend I know. Just one of life's little lessons I guess. If you have just eat, or plan to eat in the foreseeable future I guess it's better to move on to the next post as it get's nasty. No pictures but if you see pictures n your mind when reading Stephen King novels or easily get offended I guess you'd better stop. I don't mind being sick enough to throw up. I was frequently car sick when I was a kid and it never bothered me. If I was lucky enough to eat a chocolate, I would wipe of the chocolate and continue eating like the happy kid ...

Its no secret what I think about Hummers and other crap SUV's. I just can't help it: they break my balls in a major way. So, the devil in me had a great time today when I found the news of a 22 year old Jeep rescuing a Hummer stuck behind the crapper. Why bother? Leave it where it belongs! Via [The Red Ferret Journal]

This thing is just unnatural: take a break when you go for coffee. Good for the brain and the body. avoid big cups and open bottles close to your PC, especially laptops. Then again; some people get hot all over by USB gadgets like the USB Cup Warmer: Why is it that a really good cuppa always seems to cool at 10 times the normal rate when you're working at your computer, it's really very annoying. Well at last there's a suitably techy solution in the USB cup warmer. Simply plug this little gadget into your USB port, wrap the Velcro heat-pad round your steaming cuppa, and it'll extend your drinking time by up to 30 minutes bliss. Via [The Red Ferret Journal]

I have subscribed to Shark Tank for many years. They used to send the whole Shark Tank for the day in a single plain text e-mail. Just perfect for someone who reads mail on the Pocket PC. Then, in mid December, they changed and started sending only the intro part of the message with a link to the full contents on the web server. I contacted them via the feedback mail alias (online@computerworld.com) and they explained that the have moved to a web delivery for cost reasons. Probably surely because they earn more money on the web ads than the plain text ads in mail messages. I got a great Christmas gift though. For a few days during Christmas when they started sending ...

Speed For Life has collected the top 10 execuses for being caught driving to fast in Northumbria over the past year:. I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance. I was in the airport's flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the ...

Yahoo Oddly Enough has published its selection of the weirdest news from 2004. Some of the best/worst items: A cost-cutting German theater was berated for using just four dwarves instead of seven in their Snow White show. A Norwegian court acquitted a man accused of raping a sleeping woman after he said he was also asleep at the time. A Malaysian man shot his wife dead after he mistook her for a monkey picking fruit behind their house. And a Zambian man hanged himself in shame after his wife rushed into their house to investigate a noise and found him having sex with a chicken. The chicken was slaughtered afterwards.

What is this?A support seat for someone with a particularly large butt? No, it's the squatters platform: Two-thirds of humanity use the squatting position to answer the call of nature.In those cultures, appendicitis, diverticulosis, hemorrhoids, colitis, prostate disorders and colon cancer are virtually unknown ... Not only that, it apparently makes you get rid of more crap as well Recommended by doctors and yoga teachers for easier and more complete elimination. Wow! I guess my colon should thank me for moving to Italy where public bath rooms are Turkish toilets holes in the floor (finding a clean one can be difficult at times) . Not to be confused with ...

The trip back from my vacation started well. So well that it could only get worse. It did. My tech support was happy heading home after vacation. Relaxed on the plane, drank the bottle of OJ and was a little angel until the fasten seatbelt sign came on. I don't know what she had against the seatbelt, but it must have been personal. Imagine the scene in The Exorcist where Max von Sydow is trying to exorcise the beast: I talk calmly, sing a bit and promise the impossible when we land but the possessed girl didn't want to be outdone by an old movie, so she started spinning in the belt. Keeping to the script she even threw up. I know it sounds too hard to believe, but ...

It may happen...that you have been out skiing on a cold winter day. Everything, that can be, is frozen. You shake off the snow, take off the ski boots and head for the thing you have been dreaming of the last hours: the warm oven. The very warm oven. As you stand there, you finally start to feel warm all over and enjoy life again. The heat spreads through the body and you feel like a man again. But something else is spreading as well. The smell of burning wood is mixed with a bad smell. The smoke rising over your shoulders gets your attention. You step away and turn around... 2 seconds later you are butt naked in front of a mirror checking your behind for permanent ...